Three fans were bemoaning the sorry state of their football team. "I blame the general manager," said the first fan. "If he signed better players, we'd be a great team." "I blame the players," said the second fan. "If they made more of an effort, we'd score some points." "I blame my parents," said the third. "If I'd been born in Seattle, I'd be supporting a decent team."
Chuck Norris can break his opponents serve with an ace.
Why was he woman arrested on a cattle ranch for wearing a silk dress? She was charged with rustling!
The housing market crashed because Chuck thought he was paying too much property tax.
Yo mama so poor I sat on the garbage can and she said get off from my roof.
Why was cow afraid? He was a cow-herd.
Two cows are standing in a field. One says to the other "Are you worried about Mad Cow Disease?" The other one says "No, It doesn't worry me, I'm a horse!"
Chuck Norris can stab a knife with a man.
What has antlers, pulls Father Christmas sleigh and is made of cement? I don't know. A reindeer. What about the cement? I just threw that in to make it hard.
What do you call it when cows do battle in outer space? Steer Wars.