Yo momma so fat, she bounced over Wal-Mart, rolled over KMart, and landed on target.
"Yo momma so fat even her clothes have stretch marks!"
Even Google can't find Chuck Norris.
Vote:
So an old man, a Catholic priest, and a pedophile walk into a bar, and that's just one person!
Vote:
The aged patient doddered into the doctor’s office with a serious complaint.
"Doc, you’ve got to do something to lower my sex drive."
"Come on now Mr Peters," the doctor said, "your sex drives all in your head."
"Thats what I mean, you’ve got to lower it a little."
Your legs are like an Oreo Cookie - I wanna split them and eat all the good stuff in the middle.
Q: How can you tell if a lesbian is butch?
A: She kick starts her vibrator and rolls her own tampons.
Vote:
I heard that the missionary position helps men to work out the chest and triceps... do you wanna help me verify this?
What's the rudest type of Elf?
The GofuckyoursElf.
Hilary Clinton, George Bush, Sarkozy, a boy and a monk were stuck on a plane that is falling fast.
They are 5 but there are only 4 parachutes.
Hilary said "I'm a woman, you cant leave a woman on a plane to die" so she took one and jumped.
Bush said "I'm the smartest in the world, every one needs me" he took one and jumped.
Sarkozy blabbed something in french that no one understood, he took one and jumped.
The monk tells the boy "You take the last parachute, let me die" the boy said
"Why? We can both jump."
"How is that?" said the monk.
The boy replies, "Because the so called smartest man Bush took my school bag and jumped!"