What do you call a deer with no eyes? I have no I-Deer.
You can't win a starring contest with Chuck Norris becuase when you look in to his eyes you see hell starring right back at you.
Chuck Norris doesn't submit his own facts because Chuck Norris doesn't submit, period.
To be roundhouse-kicked by Chuck Norris means getting his autograph.
When you break a leg it is actually not your leg that is broken. It´s Chuck Norris´s leg. He owns everything including you and your pityful leg.
Black Holes are places where parallel universes are hiding from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can paint himself into a corner and still get the job done.
When Chuck Norris logged in to WoW, everyone logged out.
Chuck Norris walked into a bar. "OUCH!" said the bar.
Chuck Norris destroyed the Lord of Rings. Twice.