Chuck Norris doesn't need a case for his phone. The ground is afraid to break it.
Q: How does a blonde part her hair? A: By doing the splits.
At the age of 17, Chuck Norris was fired from his job in a car factory because he roundhouse-kicked a car in half.
Apparently Neil Armstrong use to tell unfunny jokes about the Moon, and followed them up with "Ah, I guess you had to be there."
Chuck Norris has a website, is called the internet.
Chuck Norris leaves potholes when he jogs.
Chuck Norris makes Power Point look weak.
Did you hear about the cannibal family who were caught spying by the witch-doctor? They were given a right roasting.
Adamantium may be hard but Chuck Norris is harder.
Chuck Norris can build a Water Dam... In the Sahara Desert.