A farmer brought his daughter a little pot-belly pet pig.
She called it "Stinky" when she played with it out in the yard, but she called it "Ballpoint" when it was in the sty.
"Tell me," asked her father, "Why do you have two names for your pig?"
"That’s easy," she replied, "Ballpoint is just his pen name."
The only reason Godzilla goes back into the ocean is because Chuck Norris is expecting him... for dinner.
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Yo momma's so old her first job was as Cain and Abel' babysitter.
Q: Why is marriage not a word?
A: It's a lifelong incarceration!
Q: How can you tell when a blonde rejects a new brain transplant?
A: She sneezes.
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Q: What did one vegan say to the other vegan?
A: We have to stop meating like this.
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What went through the fly's mind as he hit the windshield?
His Butt!
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Yo mamma so hairy she has afros on her nipples.
The second hardest element in the universe is Chuck Norris.
The first only comes into existance when Chuck gets excited.
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How did Nicki Minaj know what Lil Wayne is giving her for Christmas?
Lil Wayne isn't very good at wrapping.