When Chuck Norris falls out of a boat , he dosn't hit water... That's because Chuck Norris would never fall out of a boat it the first place.
Justin Beiber screeched like a high-pitched girl the time he saw Chuck Norris. His voice is still up there today.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side…
What did the judge say when the skunk was on trial? Odour in court.
What do you get if you cross a skunk and an owl? A bird that stinks but doesn't give a hoot.
Q: Why do they say elephants never forget? A: They haven't met Alberto Gonzalez.
Q: What did the blonde say when she was offered a position at the UN? A: Would that be a "missionary position?"
Mike, to a blonde at the bar: "It's rude to interrupt a man when he's talking to his wife." Sara: "Wife?" Mike: "I'm working on it." Sara: "You're awful sure of yourself." Mike: "You too."
Q: What did the dentist say to the computer? A: This won't hurt a byte
There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you.