A guy goes into a drug store to buy condoms.
The girl behind the counter says, “What size?”
He says, “I don’t know.”
She hold up a finger and says, “That big?”
He says, “Bigger.”
She holds up three fingers and says, “That big?”
He says, “Smaller?”
She holds up two fingers and he says, “That’s it.”
She puts the two fingers in her mouth and says, “Medium.”
Q: What does a gay order in a Chinese restaurant?
A: Sum Yung Gi.
A Jewish man is walking on the beach when he discovers a bottle containing genie.
He rubs it and a genie comes out, promises to grant him one wish.
He says, "Peace in the Middle east, that's my wish."
The genie looks concerned, then says "No, I'm sorry, that's just not possible.
Some things just can't be changed.
Do you have another wish?"
The guys says 'Well...for my whole life I've never receievd oral sex from my wife.
That would be my wish."
The genie pauses for another moment and then says "How would you define peace?"
Chuck Norris once broke the sound barrier.
In half.
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Q: What do you call a guy with his hand up a Camel's arse?
A: An Arab mechanic.
What does a blonde do when her laptop computer freezes?
She sticks it in the microwave.
"Hi Liz! How's the big love of yours, James?"
"It's over!"
"Over? Why, what happened?"
"We got married..."
Q: How does a blonde kill a worm?
A: She burys it.
At museums Chuck Norris is allowed to touch the art.
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Why are niggers afraid of chainsaws?
Because when you turn on a chainsaw it says "Run nigga nigga nigga Run nigga nigga nigga"
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