Yo mama so fat the highway patrol made her wear "Caution! Wide Turn"
Yo mama so fat people used her as a tramp.
Q: Why did the students study in the airplane?
A: Because they wanted higher grades.
Why don't men like to drink coffee at work?
It keeps them awake.
Yo' Mama is so nasty, she put ice down her pants to keep the crabs fresh.
Question: Why does Tigger smell?
Answer: You'd smell too if you played with Pooh all day!
An old lady was considering buying a squirrel fur coat.
"But will it be all right in the rain?" she asked anxiously.
"Oh certainly, ma am," said the manager smoothly.
"After all, you've never seen a squirrel with an umbrella have you?"
A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for something to eat.
He came across two men.
One was sitting under a tree reading a book; the other was typing away on his typewriter.
The lion quickly pounced on the man reading the book and devoured him.
Even the king of the jungle knows that readers digest, and writers cramp.
Why was the man sued by his horse?
For palomino-money!
Did you hear about the cannibal spider that ate his uncle's wife?
He was an aunteater.