Best jokes ever

Whats the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.
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More jokes about: racist, food, jewish
Q. Why did the man put his money in the freezer? A. He wanted cold hard cash!
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More jokes about: money
Money is not everything. There’s also MasterCard and Visa.
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More jokes about: money
Your momma is so ugly she made One Direction go another direction.
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More jokes about: Yo mama
Q: What's worse then finding 10 zombie babies in a garbage can? A: Finding one zombie baby in 10 garbage cans.
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More jokes about: disgusting, baby
The MCI virus: Every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for the AT&T virus. Bill Clinton virus: This virus mutates from region to region and we're not exactly sure what it does. Bill Clinton virus: Promises to give equal time to all processes: 50% to poor, slow processes; 50% to middle-class processes, and 50% to rich ones. This virus protests your computer's involvement in other computer's affairs, even though it has been having one of its own for 12 years. Congressional Virus: Overdraws your computer. Congressional Virus: The computer locks up, screen splits erratically with a message appearing on each half blaming the other side for the problem.
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More jokes about: IT
Driving to work, a gentlman had to swerve to avoid a box that fell out of a truck in front of him. Seconds later, a policeman pulled him over for reckless driving. Fortunately, another officer had seen the carton in the road. The policmen stopped traffic and recovered the box. It was found to contain large upholstery tacks. "I'm sorry sir," the first trooper told the driver, "but I am still going to have to write you a ticket." Amazed, the driver asked for what. The trooper replied, "Tacks evasion."
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More jokes about: cop
There are two types of ostriches - Grey and Blue. Grey ones scared hide their head in the sand. The Blue ones sit in the bushes waiting for this moment.
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More jokes about: animal
Yo momma's so fat; she's in two time zones at the same time!
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More jokes about: Yo mama, time, insulting
A farmer and his pig were driving down the road when a cop pulled him over. The cop asked the farmer, “Didn’t you know it is against the law to ride with a pig in the front of you truck?” The farmer replied, “No, I didn’t knowed that.” The cop ask the farmer where he was going and he said, “To Memphis”. The cop said, “I will let you off the hook this time if you promise to take the pig to the zoo when you get to Memphis.” So the farmer promised he would.Several days later the cop spotted the farmer with the pig driving down the road and he pulled him over again. The cop said “I thought I told you to take this pig to the zoo when you got to Memphis”. And to this the farmer replied “I did and we had so much fun, I’m taking him to the circus.”
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More jokes about: cop