Chuck Norris once lost the remote, but maintained control of the TV by yelling at it in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich.
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Chuck Norris knows what Willis is talkin' bout- Bbrandon Delariva.
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Chuck Norris doesn't get shark attacked, the shark gets Chuck Norris attacked.
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What is a cannibal's favorite food?
Baked Beings.
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A watched pot boils instantly for Chuck Norris.
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"Where are you going to take Vampira on your date?" asked one vampire.
"Oh, I thought we'd go to the movies, and then get a quick bite."
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Having past almost 30 years, the same question still bothers him…
Why he does not look alike his brothers and parents at all - every single one pretty and he so ugly.
He summoned all his courage and decided to ask his mother: "Mom, tell me the truth please, I am adapted, aren’t I?"
The mother burst into tears and said: "Yes, my child! But it didn’t work, they returned you back!"
Chuck Norris once had a weak moment, just to know what it felt like.
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Your moma is so ugly...she could make medicine sick!
Q: Whats worse then finding half a worm in your apple?
A: The Holocaust.
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