‘Cats have nine lives. Which makes them ideal for experimentation.’
On what should you mount a statue of your cat? A caterpillar!
What would happen if tarantulas were as big as horses? If one bit you, you could ride it to hospital!
A cowboy rode up to the saloon, dismounted from his horse, and dusted himself off. He then walked around to the rear of his horse, lifted the tail and kissed it right on the rectum. As the cowboy walked into the saloon, the shocked barkeeper asked, "Did you just kiss your horse's butt?" The cowboy said, "Sure, I've got chapped lips." The stunned barkeep asked if this was an old Indian cure. The cowboy said, "Nope. But, sure as s**t, it keeps me from licking my lips!"
Q. What did one frog say to another? A. You're such a WART!
What do you call a bear with no teeth, a gummy bear!
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and sheep? A wooly jumper.
Q: Why did the duck go to Brooklyn? A: To buy some quack.
Q: What's the difference between a dog and a fox? A: About eight beers.
Two Bear Hunters Two men went bear hunting. While one stayed in the cabin, the other went out looking for a bear. He soon found a huge bear, shot at it but only wounded it. The enraged bear charged toward him, he dropped his rifle and started running for the cabin as fast as he could. He ran pretty fast but the bear was just a little faster and gained on him with every step. Just as he reached the open cabin door, he tripped and fell flat. Too close behind to stop, the bear tripped over him and went rolling into the cabin. The man jumped up, closed the cabin door and yelled to his friend inside, "You skin this one while I go and get another one!"