What is the same with spreading butter on a toast and getting a woman to spread her legs? It is possible with a credit card, but much easier with a knife.
Girl: Hey wanna know what gets my pussy wet? Boy: what? ;) Girl: Toilet water when I shit out a small whale.
What do you call a blonde with pig tails? A blowjob with handlebars.
As I stand here, and try to piss, I think of the gal that gave me this. If I see her, when I get well, I'll get it again. As sure as Hell.
A black third grader goes to his mom and asks, '"Mom, I have the biggest dick in the third grade. Is that because I'm black?" And she responds, "No nigga, it's because you're nineteen!"
Sometimes I wish I was a bird: I would fly over certain people and shit on their heads.
What do you call a stoner that just broke up with his girlfriend? Homeless.
What is 6 inches long, hard, goes into your mouth back and fourth, and has white stuff at the end. A toothbrush with toothpaste
Whats the difference between Paris Hilton and a bowling ball? You can only get 3 fingers in a bowling ball!
Q: What do you call a one-man quickie? A: A yankee.