The best dirty jokes

Girl: Hey wanna know what gets my pussy wet? Boy: what? ;) Girl: Toilet water when I shit out a small whale.
Vote: has 49.21 % from 88 votes. Send joke:

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A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken takes out a cigarette and begins to smoke. The egg, pissed off, takes one look at the chicken, rolls over and pulls the blanket over him and says, "I guess we answered that question!"
Vote: has 49.00 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

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A nun with big boobs boarded a bus and sat near a dude. The dude kept looking at the nun's boobs. The nun realized this. She held her rosary and asked, "Are you looking at Jesus on the cross?" The man said "No, I'm looking at the 2 thieves beside him."
Vote: has 48.95 % from 55 votes. Send joke:

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Sometimes I wish I was a bird: I would fly over certain people and shit on their heads.
Vote: has 48.30 % from 65 votes. Send joke:

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What do you call a stoner that just broke up with his girlfriend? Homeless.
Vote: has 48.02 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

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A black third grader goes to his mom and asks, '"Mom, I have the biggest dick in the third grade. Is that because I'm black?" And she responds, "No nigga, it's because you're nineteen!"
Vote: has 47.98 % from 56 votes. Send joke:

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What is 6 inches long, hard, goes into your mouth back and fourth, and has white stuff at the end. A toothbrush with toothpaste
Vote: has 47.48 % from 49 votes. Send joke:

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Billy woke up in the middle of the night, thirsty. Instead of going to the kitchen though, he goes to his parents’ bedroom, while they were about to have sex and his father had a condom in his hand. The father, surprised by his son entrance, bent over pretending to look for something. "What are you looking for?" Billy asked. "Aw, well..hmm.. I’m looking for a little mouse!" the father lied. So, Billy spontaneously: "Why..? To “jump” it..?"
Vote: has 47.21 % from 27 votes. Send joke:

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What is the same with spreading butter on a toast and getting a woman to spread her legs? It is possible with a credit card, but much easier with a knife.
Vote: has 47.06 % from 40 votes. Send joke:

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Whats the difference between Paris Hilton and a bowling ball? You can only get 3 fingers in a bowling ball!
Vote: has 46.90 % from 42 votes. Send joke:

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