The best food jokes

Yo' Mama is so skanky, when the waiter brought out her strip steak, she asked where to tuck the dollar bills.
Vote: has 72.24 % from 7 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Yo mama, food, money
If it looks like chicken tastes like chicken and smells like chicken and Chuck Norris says it's beef then it's beef.
Vote: has 72.04 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food, animal
A couple placed an ad: "Have 4 sons, need advice on how to get a daughter." Responses: American: "Keep trying!" Briton: "Change Doctor!" Aussie: "Follow a special diet." Indian: "Practice yoga!" Pinoy: "Let me try!"
Vote: has 72.04 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, couple, doctor, food
Two Middle East mothers are sitting in a cafe chatting over a plate of tabouli and a pint of goat’s milk. The older of the mothers pulls a bag out of her purse and starts flipping through photos. And they start reminiscing. "This is my oldest son Mohammed. He would be 24 years old now." "Yes, I remember him as a baby" says the other mother cheerfully. "He’s a martyr now though" mum confides. "Oh, so sad, dear" says the other. "And this is my second son Kalid. He would be 21." "Oh, I remember him," says the other happily, "he had such curly hair when he was born." "He’s a martyr too" says mum quietly. "Oh, gracious me…" says the other. "And this is my third son. My baby. My beautiful Ahmed. He would be 18," she whispers. "Yes" says the friend enthusiastically, "I remember when he first started school." "He’s a martyr also," says mum, with tears in her eyes. After a pause and a deep sigh, the second Muslim mother looks wistfully at the photographs and says, "They blow up so fast, don’t they?"
Vote: has 71.97 % from 89 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, animal, food, age
Chuck Norris put corns in the Milky Way and eat them at his breakfast.
Vote: has 71.85 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
This elderly couple is sitting on a park bench in front of a large pond. On the other side of the pond are vendors sell all types of food stuff. The wife turns to hubby and says, "I could really go for an ice cream cone." Hubby replies, "Well, I'll go get you one." Wife says, "But, you'll forget, you better write it down." Hubby replies, "No I won't; what do you want?" Wife says, "Get me a strawberry cone with chocolate sprinkles." Hubby replies, "Okay, strawberry cone with chocolate sprinkles. See, I'll remember. Several hours pass and, finally, the hubby returns. The wife asks him, "What took you so long, did you get lost?" The hubby replies, "No, and I got what you wanted." The wife opens the bag to discover a cheeseburger and fries! Wife says, "I knew you you should have written the order down." Hubby says, "What do you mean - every thing is there." To which the wife replies, "No, it's not... look, you forgot the pickles!"
Vote: has 71.85 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: old people, food, memory, time
Q: What happens when you stick you hand in a jar of jellybeans? A: The black ones steal your watch.
Vote: has 71.74 % from 223 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: racist, black people, food
One day there was a blind man walking down the street and he smelled oranges, so he bought some fruit. He smelled some pastries, so he bought some donuts. Then he walked passed a fish market, took a hard sniff, and said, "Hello ladies!"
Vote: has 71.64 % from 63 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, food, fish
Q: Which of the following doesn't belong: wife, meat, eggs, blowjob? A: The blowjob. You can beat your wife, your eggs, or your meat; but you just can't beat a blowjob.
Vote: has 71.62 % from 144 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, wife, food
Chuck Norris can make a pound cake with only an ounce.
Vote: has 71.52 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food