Angry geek dad shouted to kid, "End of discussion; Semicolon;"
According to Apple what is the leading cause of iphone 6 overheating? Downloading images of Candice Swanepoel.
Which way did the programmer go? He went data way!
My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.
Yo momma so FAT, she can't save files bigger than 4 GB.
A computer program will always do what you tell it to do, but rarely what you want to do.
99 little bugs in the code, 99 bugs in the code, 1 bug fixed... Compile again, 100 little bugs in the code.
I needed to quickly run a SQL command to update a single row in an Oracle DB table at work. To my horror, it came back with –2,193,674 rows affected.
Caller: Oh, no, it’s just the stupid, stupid design of this computer. Every time I want to click something, I have to unplug the keyboard to plug in the mouse. And then every time I want to use the keyboard again, I have to unplug the mouse. Because there’s only one jack. Agent: Ma’am, you do realize that there’s a jack on the keyboard itself? You’re supposed to plug the mouse into the keyboard, and the keyboard into the computer. Caller: Are you kidding me!? Oh, wait a minute—yes, I see it now! Oh, holy cow. That’s going to be so much easier! Agent: Just out of curiosity, how long have you been using your computer that way? Caller: Six weeks!
Why did the boy mouse like the girl mouse? They just seemed to click.