Chuck Norris can infect a mac with pc viruses.
A computer program will always do what you tell it to do, but rarely what you want to do.
Q: What did the dentist say to the computer? A: This won't hurt a byte
A businessman is invited for an audience with the Pope but finds it clashes with a meeting he has with Bill Gates. The businessman asks his secretary which appointment he should go to. ‘Definitely the Pope,’ replies the secretary. ‘He’ll only expect you to kiss his hand.’
A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.
A computer programmer happens across a frog in the road. The frog pipes up, "I'm really a beautiful princess and if you kiss me, I'll stay with you for a week". The programmer shrugs his shoulders and puts the frog in his pocket. A few minutes later, the frog says "OK, OK, if you kiss me, I'll give you great sex for a week". The programmer nods and puts the frog back in his pocket. A few minutes later, "Turn me back into a princess and I'll give you great sex for a whole year!" The programmer smiles and walks on. Finally, the frog says, "What's wrong with you? I've promised you great sex for a year from a beautiful princess and you won't even kiss a frog?" "I'm a programmer," he replies. "I don't have time for sex.But a talking frog is pretty neat."
Baby, if you were an iPhone 6, I would tap you all day!
Knock knock! Who's there? Yah! Yah who? Naaah, bro, I prefer google.
What kind of doctor fixes broken websites? A URLologist.
Every mobile phone user has complained like this: Don't text me while I'm in the middle of texting you, because now I have to change the whole text.