Chuck Norris invented the internet so that he could reach his enemies, preferably ninjas.
I walked into the computer repair place with my broken Macintosh computer. I looked at the stack of them on the rack and said, ‘What’s that, Broke Mac Mountain?’
How many social media marketers does it take to change a light bulb? It’s not about the change - it’s about engaging people in conversations about the light bulb change.
Man: Hello, my computer is reporting a fatal error! Customer Support: Well there's nothing we can do now, you should have called us when it was still critical!
Q: What did Data find when he went into the bathroom stall? A: Captain's log.
New Year's Resolutions for Internet Junkies... I will try to figure out why I *really* need 9 e-mail addresses. I will stop sending e-mail to my wife (husband). I resolve to work with neglected children -- my own. I will answer my snail mail with the same enthusiasm with which I answer my e-mail. I will stop sending e-mail, ICQ, Instant Messages and be on the phone at the same time with the same person. I resolve to back up my 12GB hard drive daily...well, once a week... okay, monthly then...or maybe... I will spend less than one hour a day on the Internet. This, of course, will be hard to estimate since I'm not a clock watcher. When I hear "Where do you want to go today?" I will not reply "MS Tech Support." When I hear a funny joke I will not reply, "LOL... LOL!" I will read the manual... just as soon as I can find it. I will think of a password other than "password." I will stop checking my e-mail at 3:00 in the morning... 4:30 is much more practical. I resolve... I resolve to... I resolve to, uh... I resolve to, uh, get my, er... I resolve to, uh, get my, er, off-line work done, too!
Only 3 things that are infinite 1.Human Stupidity 2.Universe 3.WinRar Trial
How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb? Three. One to change it, and two to complain about how bad GE's customer support is.
"Have you heard about the object-oriented way to become wealthy?" "No..." "Inheritance."
What do you call an iPhone that isn't kidding around? Dead Siri-ous.