There are only two kinds of computer.
The latest model, and the obsolete.
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New Year's Resolutions for Internet Junkies...
I will try to figure out why I *really* need 9 e-mail addresses.
I will stop sending e-mail to my wife (husband).
I resolve to work with neglected children -- my own.
I will answer my snail mail with the same enthusiasm with which I answer my e-mail.
I will stop sending e-mail, ICQ, Instant Messages and be on the phone at the same time with the same person.
I resolve to back up my 12GB hard drive daily...well, once a week... okay, monthly then...or maybe...
I will spend less than one hour a day on the Internet. This, of course, will be hard
to estimate since I'm not a clock watcher.
When I hear "Where do you want to go today?" I will not reply "MS Tech Support."
When I hear a funny joke I will not reply, "LOL... LOL!"
I will read the manual... just as soon as I can find it.
I will think of a password other than "password."
I will stop checking my e-mail at 3:00 in the morning... 4:30 is much more practical.
I resolve... I resolve to... I resolve to, uh... I resolve to, uh, get my, er...
I resolve to, uh, get my, er, off-line work done, too!
Vote:
What do Scientists have for snacks?
Micro-chips.
Q: How do you fix a broken website?
A: With stick e-tape.
Vote:
Someday, the people who know how to use computers will rule over those who don’t.
And there will be a special name for them – secretaries.
Chuck Norris's programs can pass the Turing Test by staring at the interrogator.
I'm not anti-social.
I'm just not user friendly.
Why should you never fart in an apple store?
They don't have Windows!
I’ve got one those special filter programmes on my Internet access.
It’s really handy, it blocks out everything except porn sites.
What kind of doctor fixes broken websites?
A URLologist.