Chuck Norris goes on Jeopardy and doesn't answer in the form of a question.
Chuck Norris wears white to a funeral, no one asks why.
Chuck Norris doesn't contribute to global warming, he exhales pure oxygen.
The only mark ever made on Chuck Norris is his birth mark.
Chuck Norris doesn't have to face the consequences, the consequences have to face Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is the only one who has a silver goldfish.
Chuck Norris lives in a all white house with all white furniture and all white carpet. Why? Dirt knows better.
Chuck Norris got into Cambridge... without any qualifications.
Chuck Norris walks into a bar, and as he enters, notices a horse and the end of the bar with a sign on it. Out of curiosity, he approaches the bartender and asks what the deal is with the horse at the end of the bar. The bartender tells him: "The sign says if you can make the horse laugh you'll win $50. Take note though that hundreds of people have tried and no-one has been able to do it." "Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back." So he walks to the end of the bar, whispers something into the horse's ear, and within seconds the horse is laughing hysterically. "That's amazing," said the bartender. "Tell you what, if you can make him cry I'll double your winnings." "Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back." So Chuck walked again over to the horse, came back to the bartender 2 minutes later, and the horse was balling and sobbing like a baby. "Well," replied Chuck Norris, "First I told him a had a bigger d*ck than he did. Then I showed him."
An ancient Chinese prophecy states that a man will be created to protect the lands from all evil. Chuck Norris killed that man.
Fire trucks and ambulances pull to the shoulder when chuck Norris drives by.