The housing market crashed because Chuck thought he was paying too much property tax.
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The only sure things are Death and Taxes…and when Chuck Norris goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing.
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Chuck Norris sends his beard clippings to the police.
They are used as bullet proof vests.
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Chuck Norris can obtain unobtainable.
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A young Alabama man goes to a drug store and says to the pharmact: "I got a hot date tonight, an’ I need me some petection. How much is a pack a’ them rubbers gonna cost me?"
The pharmacist responds: "A three-pack of condoms is $4.99 with tax."
"TACKS!" the shocked redneck says. "Gawd a’ mighty, don’t they stay on by themselves!"
Q: What is Father Christmas's tax status?
A: Elf-employed.
Chuck Norris just completed a full round of Golf... In 17 shots.
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You don't invite Chuck Norris.
He invites himself.
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A little boy wanted $100 badly and prayed for two weeks but nothing happened.
Then he decided to write a letter to the Lord requesting the $100.
When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to the Lord, USA, they decided to send it to President Clinton.
The President was so impressed, touched, and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $5.00 bill, as this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy.
The little boy was delighted with the $5.00, and sat down to write a thank-you note to the Lord.
It said: Dear Lord, Thank you very much for sending me the money.
However, I noticed that for some reason you had to send it through Washington, DC and as usual, those jerks deducted $95.
Q: Why did the cannibal tax auditor get disciplined?
A: For buttering up her clients.
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Chuck Norris is the greatest thing, period, despite his invention of sliced bread.
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