What is the other name for the ‘Intel Inside?'
"The warning label." {Intel inside.......fool is outside}.
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Once a programmer drowned in the sea.
Many Marines where at that time on the beach, but the programmer was shouting "F1 F1" and nobody understood it.
CEO frequently overheard mumbling, "Eeny, meeny, miney, moe."
Windows XP shutdown screen reads, "It is Now Safe to Start Looking for Work."
Company softball team downsized to chess team.
Company president now driving a Hyundai.
Giant yard sale in front of corporate headquarters.
An unfailingly polite lady called to ask for help with a Windows installation that had gone terribly wrong.
Customer: "I brought my Windows disks from work to install them on my home computer." Training stresses that we are "not the Software Police," so I let the little act of piracy slide.
Tech Support: "Umm-hmm. What happened?"
Customer: "As I put each disk in it turns out they weren't initialized."
Tech Support: "Do you remember the message exactly, ma'am?"
Customer: (proudly) "I wrote it down.
'This is not a Macintosh disk. Would you like to initialize it?'"
Tech Support: "Er, what happened next?"
Customer: "After they were initialized, all the disks appeared to be blank.
And now I brought them back to work, and I can't read them in the A: drive; the PC wants to format them.
And this is our only set of Windows disks for the whole office.
Did I do something wrong?"
Q: Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?
A: Because Oct 31 == Dec 25!
A computer program will always do what you tell it to do, but rarely what you want to do.
Chuck Norris's e-mail adress is Yahoo@ChuckNorris.com
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Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?
They were prime mates.
Chuck Norris invented the internet so that he could reach his enemies, preferably ninjas.
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Two packets walk into a bar.
One of the packets asks the bartender for a drink, and gets no response
The other packet tries and the bartender shrugs him off.
One packet leans to the other and says, "The quality of service here is terrible!"