The reason why women will never be the ones who propose is that as soon as they get on their knees, man starts unzipping. 
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Q: Whats the difference between a box full of dead babies and a cadillac?
A: I don't have a cadillac in my garage.
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What happened when a cannibal went on a self-catering holiday?
He ate himself.
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Q: What's the only thing faster than a black man running away with your TV?
A: His son running away with your VCR.
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What do you call a virgin on a waterbed?
A cherry float.
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In a monastery senior sister announces to other sisters:
I have a good and a bad news for you.
The good one is that they have broughts to use a lot of carrots.
All the sisters start whistling happily.
But one of them asks:
What are the bad news?
Carrots came grated.
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Did you hear about the Easter egg hunt for the Alzheimer's patients?
They hid their own eggs!
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Q: Why aren't there more famous skeletons?
A: They're a bunch of no bodies!
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Why did Hitler go to the eye doctor?
Because he can Nazi.
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Old man: "Can you give me an erection?"
Faith Healer: "I can make the blind see, make the lame walk and I can even cure cancer. But, I'm sorry I cannot raise the 'dead'."
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What do you call 100 niggers on the bottom of the sea?
A good start.
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