Q: What did the pig say at the beach on a hot summer's day?
A: I'm bakin'.
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Patty was sitting in her back yard digging a hole to bury her dead goldfish. Mrs. Johnson, who lived next door, was watching her over the fence.
Mrs. Johnson said, "Patty, what are you doing?"
Patty said, "I'm digging a hole to bury my dead goldfish."
Mrs. Johnson said, "Patty, don't you think that hole is a little BIG for a goldfish?"
Patty said, "No...it's inside your damn cat!"
Why are cows made for dancing?
They re all born hoofers.
A bumble bee was chasing a rabbit.
Finally the bee turned around and flew away.
Why?
The rabbit had two b's already.
What's green with red spots?
A frog with the chicken pox!
Q. What did the snail say when he hitched a ride on the turtle?
A. Wheeeee.
Did you hear about the egg laden rabbit who jumps off bridges?
He's the Easter Bungee.
So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says ''Your eyes sparkle like diamonds''.
I said, ''Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck'
There where two snakes talking.
The 1st one said 'Sidney, are we the type of snakes who wrap ourselves around our prey and squeeze and crush until they're dead?
Or are we the type of snake who ambush our prey and bite them and they are poisioned?'.
Then the second Snake says "Why do you ask?"
The 1st one replies: "I just bit my lip!"
A guy rings his boss and says "I can't come to work today"
The boss asks why and the guy says "it's my eyes."
"What's wrong with your eyes?" asks the boss.
"I just can't see myself coming to work, so I'm going fishing instead..."
Chuck Norris once wrestled a thirty foot snake, and then he realized he was just masturbating.
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