Chuck Norris can drive a car without gas... or an engine.
Chuck Norris understood the ending of Lost.
When Chuck Norris was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay: "What is courage?" He received an A+ for turning in a blank page with only his name at the top.
Chuck Norris can strum your pain with his fingers, tell your whole life with his words – but mainly just kill you softly with his song.
Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.
Chuck Norris makes his own Girl Scout cookies using real Girl Scouts.
You know why Chuck Norris is always on top during sex? Because he never fucks up.
Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill.
Chuck Norris could play cd-based games on his Nintendo 64.
Don King once had straight hair, until that day he saw Chuck Norris' eyes staring him down.
Dante's Inferno is based on a Nature Walk Chuck Norris once took.