Nice guys finish last because bad guys run faster from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.
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Chuck Norris won a marathon on a treadmill.
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If Chuck Norris was a villian in a video game, you'll never win.
But if he was the hero, it's unplayable; because no one controls Chuck Norris.
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If you stab Chuck Norris, your knife will bleed.
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Chuck Norris made Journey stop beleiving.
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Gravity obeys Chuck Norris.
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Do you know why God is called "God"?
Because "Chuck Norris" is already taken.
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Chuck Norris steps into the confession booth.
The Priests confess his sins.
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The Hulk is Green because he envys Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris was about to die... until the Grim Reaper phoned in sick.
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