Wonder Woman's magic Lasso is actually one of Chuck Norris' chest hairs.
Originally Chuck Norris was in the cast of "The Expendables" but the movie was only 3 seconds long because there was nothing left to kill.
Chuck Norris doesn't wear flowers in his hair when he goes to San Francisco, he wears poison ivy.
Chuck Norris doesn't use a coffee maker, he puts the coffee beans in his mouth and boils them with his rage.
"Walker Texas Ranger: The Movie 3-D" was considered by Warner Brothers; however the technology to create the visual effects will never be possible.
When Chuck Norris opens a bag of Doritos, it's fucking full!
Chuck Norris got his drivers license at the age of 16 Seconds.
Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
Chuck Norris can stand the rain...
April doesn't fool Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris fools April.
Chuck Norris doesn't battle, he just allows you to lose.