Joke #6370

If you look back far enough in your family tree, Chuck Norris appears at least three times.

When Chuck Norris was 8 years old he got into a pillow fight with his older brother, that's why he's now an only child.

Jesus is the son of God. God is the son of Chuck Norris.

The patient’s family gathered to hear what the specialists had to say. "Things don’t look good. The only chance is a brain transplant. This is an experimental procedure. It might work, but the bad news is that brains are very expensive, and you will have to pay the costs yourselves." "Well, how much does a brain cost?" asked the relatives. "For a male brain, $500,000. For a female brain, $200,000." Some of the younger male relatives tried to look shocked, but all the men nodded because they thought they understood. A few actually smirked. But the patient’s daughter was unsatisfied and asked, "Why the difference in price between male brains and female brains?" "A standard pricing practice," said the head of the team. "Women’s brains have to be marked down because they have actually been used."

Q: Whats the diffrence between a park bench and a black guy? A: The park bench can support a family.

When Chuck Norris visits Europe on vacation, France surrenders.

Q: Hey, what's the jew doing in the ashtray? A: Family research.

For three years, the young attorney had been taking his brief vacations at this country inn. The last time he'd finally managed an affair with the innkeeper's daughter. Looking forward to an exciting few days, he dragged his suitcase up the stairs of the inn, then stopped short. There sat his lover with an infant on her lap! "Helen, why didn't you write when you learned you were pregnant?" he cried. "I would have rushed up here, we could have gotten married, and the baby would have my name!" "Well," she said, "when my folks found out about my condition, we sat up all night talkin' and talkin' and decided it would be better to have a bastard in the family than a lawyer."

I challenged Chuck Norris once. He made a bun with my legs over my head, then he roundhouse kicked me to outer space. Now I read the facts from Mars.

The housing market crashed because Chuck thought he was paying too much property tax.

Chuck Norris says to rate this five stars or he"ll throw you five NINJA stars.