Although it is not common knowledge, there are actually three sides to the Force: the light side, the dark side, and Chuck Norris.
Ballet is banned within a 1000 miles of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once stared death in the face... Death pissed his pants.
When someone is in trouble it's a job for Superman, when Superman is in trouble it's a job for Chuck Norris.
Thunder is caused by Chuck Norris rubbing the stubble on his chin.
Chuck Norris once ate a whole bucket of sleepng pills and it managed to make him yawn.
Chuck Norris adds Facebook as a friend.
Chuck Norris once ran on the treadmil. It couldn't keep up.
Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Chuck gave them a roundhouse kick to the face.
When Chuck Norris does a push up, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
Chuck Norris doesn't run out of bullets, bullets run out of Norrises.