Once, an entire country disagreed with Chuck Norris. It's now known as the moon
When Chuck Norris donates blood he refuses the needle, he asks for a knife and a bucket.
Chuck Norris can jump without leaving the ground.
Chuck Norris once wrestled a thirty foot snake, and then he realized he was just masturbating.
I named my dog Chuck Norris, but I couldn't train him because no one tells Chuck Norris what to do.
Once upon a time, Chuck Norris moved a Mack truck out of his way. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.
When Chuck Norris forgets something it ceases to exist.
Q: How many licks does it take Chuck Norris to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? A: Zero. He simply stares at the candy and the outer coating is gone.
Rambo is simply Chuck Norris disguised as Sylvester Stalone playing tag.
When Chuck Norris laughs he busts your gut.
Chuck Norris can open PDF files with Microsoft Excel.