Chuck Norris once won a drag race with a unicycle.
Charlie Sheen is a drug, it will melt your face and kill you. Chuck Norris had two 8-Balls of Sheen and is now suing for false advertising.
If you want a list of Chuck Norri's enemies, just check the extinct species list.
When Chuck Norris jumps from a building, the concrete commits suicide.
huck Norris was supposed to star in the tv show 'Man vs Wild', but the network did not want kids thinking 'lava is safe to eat'.
Chuck Norris doesn't teach his kicks. They speak for themselves.
Chuck Norris doesn't need to change the past. He has never made any mistakes.
If Chuck Norris were president, he would protect the secret service.
Eminem says "I'm not afraid". Chuck Norris says "I love the way you lie"
Chuck Norris doesn't scroll with a mouse. He uses a lion.
Cars were invented to have a faster way of fleeing from Chuck Norris. Not to be outdone, Chuck Norris invented the car accident.