The Swiss army uses a Chuck Norris knife.
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If Chuck Norris were a substance, he would abuse you.
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Chuck Norris does not play the lottery.
It doesn't have nearly enough balls.
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Chuck Norris can make a pound cake with only an ounce.
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Chuck Norris once shook a pirates hand.
That pirate is now known as Captain Hook
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Chuck Norris can dunk a basketball using his feet.
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Chuck Norris doesn't throw a baseball, it just leaves his hand cowering in fear.
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Chuck Norris and Jean-Claude Van Damme play tug a war with live annacondas.
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No matter how fast you run, Chuck Norris will always walk faster.
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In the late 80's When Michael Jackson first met Chuck Norris he turned white.
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Chuck Norris leaves messages before the beep.
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