Chuck Norris leaves messages before the beep.
The square root of Chuck Norris is pain. Do not try to square Chuck Norris, the result is death.
Chuck Norris understood the ending of Lost.
When Chuck Norris goes to the beach, he puts on sunscreen to protect the sun from him.
Chuck Norris once created a flamethrower by urinating into a lighter.
Chuck Norris made Newton write 3 laws of physics just to break them... he was having a boring weekend.
Batman is to Robin as Chuck Norris is to Death.
Chuck Norris doesn’t wash his clothes, he disembowels them.
Across all of the infinite number of parallel universes the version of Chuck Norris is the same. Nature knows perfection when she sees it.
Chuck Norris is the only person who can kick someone in the back of the face.
Even after muting "Walker, Texas Ranger", you can still hear Chuck Norris's victims screaming after getting roundhouse kicked.