Chuck Norris CAN handle the truth.
Chuck Norris does not go fishing, the fish surrender.
Chuck Norris cleans his teeth with a dentists drill.
Sharks watch Chuck Norris week.
Chuck Norris' phone never auto corrects him.
Chuck Norris can peel an orange with his eyelids, but he rarely needs Vitamin C.
James Bond's license to kill was approved by Chuck Norris.
It's a proven fact that you will go blind faster staring at a picture of Chuck Norris than you would staring at the sun.
When you die on Earth you go to hell. When you die in hell you go to Chuck Norris' house.
If Chuck Norris were a cat he would have ten lives.
Chuck Norris checks under his bed for Fedor Emelianenko because he takes Fedor to the vet regularly.