I had an idea once, and a light bulb appeared over my head.
Chuck Norris had an idea, and the sun was created.
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Chuck Norris failed recess because he dosent play games.
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In America, Chuck Norris finds you But in Soviet Russia, you find Chuck Norris.
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Q: How many Republicans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three. One to hire a Mexican guy and two to deport him when he's done.
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Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother’s womb.
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Chuck Norris can keep up with the Kardashians.
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Ed and Lorraine Warren have the doll Anabelle locked in a glass case in their basement, a priest comes there every week to whisper Chuck Norris's name in its ear.
The doll locked itself in the case upon first hearing the name.
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Q: How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: The lights out, how can u count them?
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Q: How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: One to screw it in and the other to wear skinny jeans.
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My insurance policy says: "Does not cover acts of God, or Chuck Norris."
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