Chuck Norris can scratch sandpaper.
30 lumberjacks once tried to cut off Chuck Norris's beard... They were never seen again.
When Chuck Norris jumps from a building, the concrete commits suicide.
Superman and The Flash have a race around the world. Who wins? Chuck Norris.
Many years ago Chuck Norris and a brown bear had a fight. The loser had to go live in the north pole.
Chuck Norris beat a brick wall at tennis.
Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris. After 5 days of extreme pain...the snake died.
How many push-ups can Chuck Norris do? All of them.
Chuck Norris can cash two party, out of state checks with no ID, or else!
Chuck Norris doesn't do his taxes.....he just sends a blank tax form with his picture on it.
Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke. That truck is now known as Optimus Prime.