You can't win a starring contest with Chuck Norris becuase when you look in to his eyes you see hell starring right back at you.
Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.
Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.
Chuck Norris once rode a bull threw a China shop, the only thing that broke was the bull.
Stars wish upon Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
When Chuck Norris was 3 years old , he was bored And decided to carve a sculpture with only his Baby toe nail , this sculpture is now called.... Mount Rushmore.
Chuck Norris can hack a Facebook account using Myspace.
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
Chuck Norris created the Grand Canyon because he coughed "Just Once".
Chuck Norris scares cows so bad, milk comes out their nose.