Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
Chuck Norris made Newton write 3 laws of physics just to break them... he was having a boring weekend.
Aliens believe in Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris DNA is classified.
Chuck Norris can drive a car without gas... or an engine.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
Chuck Norris stared at the sun... the sun went blind.
The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.
Chuck Norris can unlock a hairpin with a door.
Chuck Norris's sign language is heard around the world.
Chuck Norris is reading all these jokes and thinking to himself: They make me sound like a pussy.