Why was Teddy Roosevelt mean to horses?
He was a rough rider!
A wife to her husband as they watch their young son playing:
"He's such a sensitive child.
Let's wait until he's older before we tell him you're an accountant."
What do Scientists have for snacks?
Micro-chips.
Bruce lee does not drink water, he drinks WATAAAA.
Abraham Lincoln can finish a play better than the 2013 Broncos.
The creation of a perfect sphere became possible after Chuck Norris became enraged with a rubix cube and roundhouse kicked the corners off it.
Vote:
Chuck Norris is the only person that can make you feel a punch to your face in your groin.
Vote:
What do cows sing at their friends birthday parties?
"Happy Birthday to MOO, Happy Birthday to Moo."
That bull you sold me is a lazy good-for-nothing.
I told you he was a bum steer.
What do you call a rabbit that plays with foxes?
A dumb bunny.