Q: What would it be a good idea for you to do after a man takes your wife? A: Let him keep her!
Q: If Bigamy is having one wife too much, what is Monogamy? A: The Same!
Q: Why are farmers cooler than Hipsters? A: Farmers can go a day without their Pitchfork
Q: What kind of money do elves use? A: Jingle bills!
Q: What do you get when you combine a Starbucks and Yoga class? A: I don't know, but there's probably a hipster close by.
Q: Why do hipsters love using the subway? A: Because its underground.
Q: Why did Hitler hate golf? A: Because he ended up in the bunker.
I just watched a documentary about Adolf Hitler. He sure was a popular guy. Everywhere he went, people shouted "Hi Hitler" and gave him a little wave.
Music teacher tells Peter: "I warn you, if you will not behave, as appropriate, I tell your parents that you have a talent for music."
Phone a friend and tell them you're a doctor, and you're very, very sorry, but you did everything you could to save their... then pretend that the connection dropped out. Wait a couple beats, then give your deepest condolences. Then hang up.