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My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far today, I have finished two bags of chips and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.
Vote: has 74.89 % from 67 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, food, doctor
Why don't black people dream? Because the last black guy that "had a dream" got shot
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More jokes about: racist, black people
Yo' Mama is so fat, when she skips a meal, the stock market drops.
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More jokes about: Yo mama
It's a slow day in heaven, so St. Peter decides to show a new guy around. St. Peter shows him all of the sights: the golf course, library, observation deck, cafeteria and a huge room full of clocks. "What's up with those clocks, Peter?" "Everyone on Earth has a clock that shows how much time he has left. When a clock runs out of time, the person dies and comes to the gates to be judged." The guy notices that some of the clocks are going faster than others. St. Peter tells him that every time a living person tells a lie, it speeds up his clock. The guy notices one clock in the center of the ceiling with both hands whirling around at an unbelievable rate. "What's the story with that clock?" "Oh, that," St. Peter replies. That's George W. Bush's clock. We decided to use it as a fan."
Vote: has 74.86 % from 150 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, heaven, golf, political
Yo momma is so fat when she walked by the TV i missed 3 episodes!
Vote: has 74.84 % from 282 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Yo mama, fat, technology
Chuck Norris gives Freddy Krueger nightmares.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, celebrity
Chuck Norris has a six-pack on his chin.
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How do some men define Roe vs. Wade? Two ways to cross a river.
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More jokes about: men
Why don't men have mid-life crises? They stay stuck in adolescence.
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Chuck Norris can give you a wet willie with a dry finger.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris