There was once a man who was in a bar, terribly drunk. The bartender noticed this, and when he asked for another beer, the bartender politely told him that he was too drunk to be served another drink. The man leaves. He walks in the side door and asks the bartender for a beer. A little frustrated, the bartender repeats the answer he said before. The man leaves. He then comes in the other side door, walks to the bartender and asks for a beer. The bartender is annoyed, and tells the man he is too drunk and to get a ride home and leave his bar. He leaves. He then comes in the BACK door, comes the the bartender, and before he can say a word, the bartender explodes at him. "I told you already, you are way to drunk, you can not have another beer! Get out of my bar!" Disgruntled, the man looks at the bartender and asks, "Man, how many bars do you work at?"
A 2006 study found that the average American walks about 900 miles a year. Another recent study found that Americans drink an average of 22 gallons of beer a year. That means, on average, Americans get about 41 miles per gallon. Not bad.
Yo' Mama is so nasty, her vagina's in the Axis of Evil.
How many men does it take to screw a light bulb? A. One - men will screw anything. B. One - men will screw up anything. C. Five - one to actually do the screwing, four to listen to him brag about it.
Why does the stupid man put ice in his condom? To keep the swelling down.
Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.
Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do? Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.
How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight? Have YOU ever seen a rabbit with glasses?
Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs, with a ten inch penis? A: "Partially disabled."
The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.