Q: What's long and hard on a blackman? A: The first grade.
Q. What's the definition of a Yankee? A. Same thing as a ''quickie'', only you do it yourself.
A college business professor could not help but notice that one of his students was late to class for the third time that week. Before class ended he went around the room asking students some questions about the day's lecture. Of course, he made sure to pick on his tardy pupil. "And who was it that developed the theories behind communism?" the professor asked. "I don't know," the student said. "Perhaps if you came to class on time, Mr. Reebs, you would know," said the professor. "That's not true," the student replied. "I never pay attention anyway!"
Wife complains husband, "When I'm crossing the dark forest when I'm comming back home I'm scared that someone will rape me." "Don't worry" answers husband, "you wouldn't be so lucky..."
How do you lead a horse to water? With lots of carrots.
Yo mamma so ugly that her birth certificate came with an apology letter from the condom factory.
What's red and sits in a corner? A baby playing with a razor blade.
You WILL be a winner today. Pick a fight with a four-year-old.
If Chuck Norris ever got caught for speeding, he'd let the cops off with a warning.
I took two marriage vows. Silence and poverty.