The best animal jokes

What's the difference between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts? Deer Nuts are always under a buck.
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More jokes about: animal, beer
Three animals were having a drink in a cafe, when the owner asked for the money. I'm not paying," said the duck. "I've only got one bill and I'm not breaking it." "I've spent my last buck," said the deer. "Then the duck'll have to pay," said the skunk. "Getting here cost me my last scent."
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More jokes about: money, duck, animal
Q:Why did the cow cross the road? A:To go to the moo-vies.
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More jokes about: animal
What happens when you put the batteries in BACKWARDS in the Energizer Bunny? He keeps coming and coming and coming...
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More jokes about: animal, technology
Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were having a conversation one fine Sunday evening. One remarked to the other, ‘I got a new hearing device and it works fine?' The second said, ‘oh yes, my grandchildren just love the gifts of my choice.' The third one who noticed the hearing device in the ear of the first one asked, what kind is it?' The one with the brand new hearing device answered ‘about 6 O'clock'. All three of them looked up in the birds in the sky and said, "Birds of the same feather ‘flock' together."
Vote: has 21.41 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: old people, time, kids, animal, bird
A plowhorse, a honeybee and an old geezer are debating about which of them is the greatest. 
The horse says, "I can plow all day long to provide food for dozens of people!" "
The bee says, "I pollinate all the plants every year and make honey besides!" 
 The old geezer says... (We're waiting...)
Vote: has 20.88 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: old people, animal, horse
Q: What did the bird say after his cage fell apart? A: "Cheap, cheap!"
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More jokes about: animal
Two guys meet: "Where were you lost my friend? says one of them." "Well, I took my kids to the zoo..." "And what kind of animals did you see there?" "The tiger... Huge and Scary! Full of stripes... Slowly walking inside the cage. She was “ahgrrr...” "Are you kidding me men? The tiger doesn’t go “ahgrrr..” … She “grrrrsss..”! "Right, ok.. But when you get too close to her face... !"
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More jokes about: animal, kids
A blonde is driving down the road and she sees a dead rabbit. She stops the car and called out, "Does anybody got any hairspray!?" A man pulls up and gives her a bottle of spray and she sprays it on the dead rabbit and the man stares and says "Why u doing that?" The blonde says "Hairspray is for dead hairs"
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More jokes about: blonde, death, animal, stupid
Zebras are just horses that escaped from prison.
Vote: has 19.47 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, prison