Lifting weights have really helped me with the ladies - the last five I raped didn't stand a chance.
How do you get 100 babies into a bucket? With a blender!
A woman is speaking to her friend, ‘My husband has got one foot in the grate.’ ‘Don’t you mean one foot in the “grave”?’ says the friend. ‘No,’ replies the woman. ‘He wants to be cremated.’
Why did Beyonce sing 'to the left', 'to the left'? - Because black people have no rights..
What does a skeleton say when he wants to eat? Bone appetit!
What is the differance between a dead baby and a VHS tape? The VHS tape don't stink when you leave it out in the sun.
What is the difference between turkey and mother-in-law? There is no difference: both are the best when they are cold on the table.
Why would the cannibal only eat babies? He was on a diet!
What's red and crawls up your leg? A homesick miscarriage.
What do you buy a dead baby for its birthday? A dead puppy!