When Chuck Norris does a push up, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
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When you die on Earth you go to hell.
When you die in hell you go to Chuck Norris' house.
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Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the probability of failure.
Chuck Norris goes killing.
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Chuck Norris once bowled a 300...
Without a ball...
He wasn't even in a bowling ally.
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Death was created after Chuck Norris was born.
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The housing market crashed because Chuck thought he was paying too much property tax.
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Chuck Norris made Ellen Degeneres straight.
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Chuck doesn't have e-mail, he has HE-mail.
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Chuck Norris flosses with dynamite wick.
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You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life?
In reality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you.
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Chuck Norris once had a bet with the Hulk, the loser had to paint himself green.
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