When Chuck Norris does a push up, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
Chuck Norris doesn't use a coffee maker, he puts the coffee beans in his mouth and boils them with his rage.
Chuck Norris made Journey stop beleiving.
Chuck Norris can turn carbon paper into diamonds.
Chuck Norris' day consists of 25 hours.
James Bond was trained by Chuck Norris, as his butler.
Guns need a licence to bear Chuck Norris.
Spilled milk cries over Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris does not smile. \r\nHe flexes his teeth.
Chuck Norris can play a PS3 with a Super Nintendo controller, and it works!
When observing a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick in slow motion one finds that Chuck Norris actually rapes his victim in the ass, smokes a cigarette with Dennis Leary, and then roundhouse kicks them in the face.