Chuck Norris's daughter lost her virginity, he got it back.
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Chuck Norris can set magnifying glasses on fire...using ants.
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Chuck Norris can make a snowman with sand.
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Some people can ride their bikes with no handle bars.
But chuck norris can ride his handlebars with no bike.
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There is no such thing as global warming.
Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.
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Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
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Once chuck norris and time had race.
Result: The time is still running.
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Chuck Norris cut his scissors using his hair.
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Chuck Norris can literally kill time.
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According to CNN, Chuck Norris was commanding the SEAL team in Afghanistan.
When Osama found that out, he shot himself in the head.
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Chuck Norris did 5 successful suicide bomb missions
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