Law of Gravity doesn't apply to Chuck Norris, he enforces it... with a round house kick.
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Chuck Norris thought 24 was a sit-com.
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If Chuck Norris misses a roundhouse-kick, you will still die.
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Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Chuck gave them a roundhouse kick to the face.
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Chuck Norris can run so fast he can cause time travel.
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Superman can leap tall buildings in a single bound.
Chuck Norris just picks the buildings up and moves them out of his way.
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The only apocolypse that can happen is if bogyman insults Chuck Norris.
The whole universe goes to hell.
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Chuck Norris put humpty dumpty back together again, only to roundhouse kick him in the face.
Later Chuck dined on scrambled eggs with all the king's horses and all the king's men.
The king himself could not attend for unspecified reasons.
Coincidentally, the autopsoy revealed the cause of death to be a roundhouse kick to the face.
There is only one King.
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Everyone knows Chuck Norris' pet rock... he named it "Earth."
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Chuck Norris didn't survive the first night in Minecraft, the first night survived Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris once stared death in the face...
Death pissed his pants.
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