Law of Gravity doesn't apply to Chuck Norris, he enforces it... with a round house kick.
All men are born equal. Chuck Norris was just born more equal than everyone else.
When Chuck Norris is put in a straight jacket to be contained, he doesn't go insane, the jacket does. NOBODY tries to contain Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can watch music.
You know Chuck Norris' pet lizard, right? Last I heard, he was in the movie "Godzilla". Oh, and his pet turtle starred in "Gamera" as well.
Count Dracula once bit Chuck Norris and immediately turned vegetarian.
Chuck Norris doesn't travel at the speed of light, light travels at the speed of Chuck Norris!
Chuck Norris has one pet. It's name is fear.
Chuck Norris can't fly, gravity just looks the other way when he leaves the ground.
Chuck Norris was asked to star in Night of the Living Dead but filming was ended after the zombies were to afraid to be roundhouse kicked in the face.
Chuck Norris is an action verb.