Chuck Norris doesn't think he's better than everyone, everyone thinks Chuck Norris is better than them.
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Chuck Norris once climbed Mt Everest by accident.
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Chuck Norris can tap dance though a mine field... wearing clown shoes.
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Chuck Norris doesn't throw a baseball, it just leaves his hand cowering in fear.
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Chuck Norris can comment on Facebook posts, before you publish them.
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Chuck Norris pitties Mr. T.
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Chuck Norris can open PDF files with Microsoft Excel.
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Chuck Norris doesn't use his hand to catch bullets, he uses his mind.
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When Neil Armstrong first landed on the moon he saw aliens worshiping Chuck Norris's footprints.
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Chuck Norris jumped off a building once.
The ground didn't make it.
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Chuck Norris once broke a mirror over the head of a black cat while standing under a ladder on Friday the thirteenth.
The next day he won the lottery.
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