Chuck Norris isn't on Earth, the Earth is on Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris knows what color a smurf turns when you choke it.
Chuck Norris can build a Water Dam... In the Sahara Desert.
Big Brother isn't watching you. Chuck Norris is watching you!
Chuck Norris once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography.
Chuck Norris can pop scissors with a balloon.
Sharks watch Chuck Norris week.
Willy Wonka gave an everlasting gobstopper to Chuck Norris. The flavor lasted 2.3 seconds.
If you use Chuck Norris in a game of Rock-Paper-Scissors, you automatically win.
Chuck Norris can send you a roundhouse kick by E-Mail.
Justin Beiber screeched like a high-pitched girl the time he saw Chuck Norris. His voice is still up there today.