Chuck Norris talks in my sleep.
Vote:
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
There are no comets.
Only people that Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked so hard that they are now in permanent orbit in our solar system.
Vote:
There is no theory of evolution.
Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
Vote:
Chuck Norris walks into a bar, and as he enters, notices a horse and the end of the bar with a sign on it.
Out of curiosity, he approaches the bartender and asks what the deal is with the horse at the end of the bar.
The bartender tells him: "The sign says if you can make the horse laugh you'll win $50. Take note though that hundreds of people have tried and no-one has been able to do it."
"Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back."
So he walks to the end of the bar, whispers something into the horse's ear, and within seconds the horse is laughing hysterically.
"That's amazing," said the bartender.
"Tell you what, if you can make him cry I'll double your winnings."
"Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back."
So Chuck walked again over to the horse, came back to the bartender 2 minutes later, and the horse was balling and sobbing like a baby.
"Well," replied Chuck Norris, "First I told him a had a bigger d*ck than he did. Then I showed him."
Vote:
Underneath China it says "Made in Chuck Norris".
Vote:
The Guinness Book of World Records is actually Chuck Norris' elementary school report card.
Vote:
Chuck Norris had to stop washing his clothes in the ocean.
The tsunamis were killing people.
Vote:
Chuck Norris doesn't throw up if he drinks too much.
Chuck Norris throws down!
Vote:
Chuck Norris can strike the same lightning twice.
Vote:
Chuck Norris made sick the healthy chocolate.
Vote:
Chuck Norris ate once at Hard Rock Cafe.
It's now called Shakey's.
Vote: