Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.
Racehorses have to pee like Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
Every time Satain goes to sleep, He has to pray to God hoping Chuck Norris does't get him at night.
Chuck Norris didn't shoot the sheriff, but he roundhouse kicked the deputy.
Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.
Chuck Norris reads with his eyes closed.
Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it. Chuck Norris jumped out of a plane and punched the ground.
Chuck Norris can actually punch you in the soul.
Chuck Norris donates his beard clippings to the Army so they can make Kevlar vests.
Chucks Norris's mirror is scared to look at him.