Chuck Norris uses the lethal injection to have a 5min nap.
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When Chuck Norris is put in a straight jacket to be contained, he doesn't go insane, the jacket does.
NOBODY tries to contain Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King and got one.
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Chuck Norris can breath out with his nose and breath in with his mouth at the same time.
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Chuck Norris doesn't go to therapy, therapy goes to Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris does not own a house.
He walks into random houses and people move.
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Chuck Norris inhales carbon monoxide and exhales oxygen.
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Chuck Norris' name is never on the guest list - because if Chuck Norris turns up, Chuck Norris gets in.
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Chuck Norris can make a rap video without booties and cars.
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Chuck Norris doesn't travel at the speed of light, light travels at the speed of Chuck Norris!
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While vacationing in France, Chuck Norris went out for a casual bike ride and accidentally won the Tour de France.
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